Thursday, April 30, 2009

SEAcrets

The Safety Council at Chesapeake Bay is hosting the course. They were giving us locations of places to eat. This is good information, since I mentioned there is NO place open.
This is called Seacrets. Neat concept - the first pictures are outside by the bay. The others are inside the restaurant.
All sand - they import palm trees every springs (not yet this year). Plants inside are also all real - thought it was great, until we started getting our food. Then the ants come out..... and the bugs.... I could only imagine what this is like in the summer. Lost all of it unique appeal!!!!

Another concern, and I am sure this is not an issue during the busy season - but, we were the youngest people in there by about 50 YEARS!!! I was worried about the walkers getting caught in the sand....
















Ocean City Beach Pic's


Picture of the Boardwalk looking North

Looking South
I attribute the poor quality of the pictures to the gusting WINDS. The weather was warm, in the high 70's. If you are wondering what the white lines are, it says TRAIN ACCESS - hum??
This was the first part of the week.



Ocean view from the hotel room. They say all rooms have an ocean view - no lie, I just expected a full view. Guess they do it differently on the East Coast.


Weather went to CRAP! ! Temp about 53 degrees, windy - icky!!!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Ocean City Maryland








The sign outside of the hotel - on the sign post for "Big Peckers Bar & Grill" that is right in the same building as "Brass Balls Club".


I left Portland Sunday morning on my typical 0600 flight. My girl was home for the weekend to help me get the yard in shape, laundry and whatever else I could get done in 36 hours that I was there. She planned to take me to the airport, so I wouldn't have to leave so early and worry about parking, and all the things that go along with the airport mess. We were up early to get underway, when I went out to lock my truck and put the club on the steering wheel. Apparently the club had disappeared, since my boy is up to his normal tricks. I put her club on my truck and we headed to the airport. I was pretty angry by the time I got there. Trying to get through security - I have it down to a routine, especially if I am checking my luggage. All I have is my laptop in a back pack and a small purse.

There was an older gentleman with two large carry-on's and all sorts of electronics. Right behind him was an Asia family with three small children. He was telling everyone to go on by him, as he had about six bins full of items. The family went on by and all the children made it through security, when I went through. The gentleman was right behind me.

As my laptop came down the belt, he picks it up. He has no idea how close he came to me absolutely snapping on him, after a morning with the boy. But with that crisis avoided I was able to continue on, not being detained by security (big bonus).

Flew into Philadelphia PA, as this was the nearest "big" airport that accommodates travels from afar.

My co-worker arrived about the same time I did, and we met at the rental car agency. After programing the 'never lost' system - we were in for a 2.5 hour drive. It was like 127 miles to the hotel where the class was being held.




Ocean City reminds me of the Oregon Coast - particularly Seaside. Small - touristy type town. Not a damn thing open!!! Apparently this town does not open until after SpringFest. This is held the first full weekend in May. That would be the first full weekend that starts with a Thursday in May - sooooooo, the week following.

I am here for the week, learning about Safety Management Systems - never would have guessed that one!!!!






Tuesday, April 21, 2009

What offends me....



I can honesty say that most of the people I work with are careful not to talk vulgar in front of me. They also will apologize if they have cursed in my presents.

I let alot of things slide. Since, I am in their world.....

There is one supervisor that is always asking me if I was offended, when someone is being "colorful" or has gestures along with a story. Ironically enough this person has offended me twice this hitch!!!


First time being.....

We are in the shuttle going from the hotel to the heliport, it is 0300 in the morning. There was about five of us in the shuttle. There was talk about the office being closed on friday. Not uncommon - the Houston office leaves around 1300hrs anyway. The conversation goes like this:
Me: They are closed all day?
Dumfook: Yes, they are closed all day today
Me: Why?
Dumfook: It is Good Friday, if you were a Christian, you would know this...

Fuck you!!! I am offended!!!

Then just the other day. Discussing budgets, safety items that are given as rewards and my travel to a class that, he is also attending. (My mistake of sending the email containing all the itineraries to him.) When I passed on the information of his hotel reservation. This also contained my flight information - along with hotel reservations.
Dumfook: Wow, you have a long flight. Do you ever fly through Denver?
Me: It is a long flight, but not too bad when it is straight from Houston. I have been through Denver - last time going home, in fact. It was ok, it made my total travel time about 2 hours longer, but it was ok.
Dumfook: What are you going to do if the company cuts travel benefits?
Me: Find another job!! This IS NOT my life!

Shock and dismay (is displayed on his face) - got, my point across..... Again offended. I guess if times get that bad in the oilfield I will still have the option of working, since I can be Medic also. Guess he will have to find another place to try NOT TO get dirty... Ass kisser!!!

OH, and since I am on that subject. We are planing a trip to Vegas (yeah - how kewl??) I have not had a "vacation" proper since 9/2001 - you can guess how easy that date is to remember. I was in the San Juan Islands for 9/11. Ok, anyway.... so I have been talking about some of the things we have planned. Going to Bette Midler, and Phantom of the Opera.... way excited. So, he and his wife are going to Vegas the first part of the month. They are also going to Phantom, which I guess he has seen like five times (he still doesn't impress me). He asks me if I would like to listen to the soundtrack - sure, that would be neat.

I was busy - so I didnt jump right up and run over to his office. Then the next day - he asks me again. Sure, I will come over some time. SO THEN, he comes over to my office yesterday and asked if I would like a copy of the Phantom. Sure, but again I forgot to jump up and follow him like a whipped puppy... Then he comes back by and asked for a memory drive, so that he can transfer it for me.

Dumfook: I just love the Phantom. I have the complete two disc memorized. I can recite and sing every song thru the entire play.
Me: Ok, thanks......?

Again..... Why would I want to sit in a formal event and recite the entire play? Along with irritating the fuck out of everyone around me with my singing the damn thing also????




Guess that is just why I am not as kewl as DUMFOOK!!!!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Infastructure









This picture shows the infrastructure that is on the sea floor. We are in 7000 ft of water, so when we use the ROV (remote operated vehicle) it is launched from a cage, and then is tethered by an umbilical. They use this to see the well head and to hook the BOP (blow out preventer) to the top of the well.




Some general information stuff.....



Sunday, April 19, 2009

Going to work.....


I do have lots of things to post - lots of thoughts, but have been extremely busy. I saw this today - and had to share.
This describes the majority of the people that I work with - never thought I would see it in a "joke" form.....
A Preacher from Louisiana had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day,while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed five objects on his desk:- a Bible,- a silver dollar,- a bottle of whiskey,- a marijuana cigarette, an- a Hustler magazine - 'I'll just hide behind the door,' the preacher said to himself, and when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he picks up.- If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!- If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be OK.- But if picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard,and, Lord, what a shame that would be.- If he picks up the marijuana cigarette, he's going to be a worthless dope-head,- And worst of all, if he picks up that Hustler magazine, he's going to be a skirt-chasing bum.'
The preacher waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table.. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket, put the joint to his lips, and lit it up. He uncorked the whiskey bottle and took a big swig, while admiring the Hustler centerfold.



Lord have mercy!,the old preacher whispered in disgust,
he's going to work OFFSHORE !!!!!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

April


Back to work is always interesting.




I am NOT going to rant about work - I am NOT going to rant about work.... ok, repeat after me...I WILL more than likely rant about work.


Some of the stories that I have heard from the guys this hitch....




Couple of the guys that I crew change with, they say at a different hotel closer to the heliport. The company has changed hotels since the last time we came to work the last time. I was asking what they thought of the hotel they were staying at, compaired to the one they had previously been at.


Apparently these two guys were going to go to the bar for a few drinks (not apparently - but commonly). One of the guys has to be mid-40's the other early 50's with very noticeably gray hair. The "younger" of the two is a heavy heavy drinker and also one of those people that is medicated (no, for real) for the good of man-kind. The other one is a standard beer drinking fool. For the sake of describing each of them lets call the older one "Don" and the younger one "Mike".


So...., Don sees a couple of young ladies headed to the bar - he says they "were not bad lookin women". When they go into the bar - it is nothing but ooollllddddddd women. And as "Don" says Ugly Ole' Women. He apparently had never been in a place when you walk through the door all heads turn toward the door. He said they felt like cheap meat.... [There are many stories that can be told about these guys - I will work on that] These old women were asking them to dance - which, they said that they were afraid they might break a hip. They said the bathroom even had the elevated toilets along with the hand rails..... Bet they don't think it is so bad in the next 20 years - when they are using those elevated toilets and rails!!!


Another story about "Mike". He was telling me about returning a dvd player that he bought at the house. He said that he took it back to the store, it was only a week old and had broke. The store refused to return the item, since he did not have the original box. He asked them if $176 was worth them shutting the store down for three weeks to remodel? Because if they did not give him back his damn money he was going to run his truck through the store. The store manager apparently took this as a threat - and told him that he was going to call the police. At which time, he told them that they might as well call a tow truck also, by the time the cops would get there he would have hung that truck up on something!!! He says, that by the time he got to his truck and had the front tires on the sidewalk - they had returned his CASH ! ! ! Good thing, huh...


Another one of "Mike's" favorite stories, is (on a different rig) when he put Alka Seltzer in his mouth (foaming effect) got a fire axe and went busting into a co-workers state room in his underwear. Acting as if he was looking for himself - generally, just being crazy.... It works for him....without the Alka Seltzer.

Happy Easter



Happy Keester...

ALL I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE I LEARNED FROM THE EASTER BUNNY
Don't put all of your eggs in one basket
Walk softly and carry a big carrot
Everyone needs a friend who is all ears
There's no such thing as too much candy
All work and no play can make you a basket case
A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention
Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day
Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits
Some body parts should be floppy
Keep your paws off other people's jellybeans
Good things come in small sugarcoated packages
The grass is always greener in someone else's basket
An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare
To show your true colors you have to come out of your shell
The best things in life are still sweet and gooey

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Awesome Video Clip

I had to share this - it is the best video clip of street performers from around the US and other parts of the world....

Crank it up - this is an incredible piece of soundmaking.

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=2539741

Saturday, April 4, 2009

End of March - Houston

Arrived Sunday night and went to The Warehouse, where we saw Chris Cornell… (Soundgarden / AudioSlave) Awwesome show – here is a clip from YouTube…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3nNIEt1FpI

The Warehouse was a great venue. Small in size, excellent lighting, but getting tickets was a fiasco. We tried the standard way of going online and buying them from the venue. To find they were sold out. So, after a couple of days and no tickets becoming available I went to Craig’s List and EBay…..score…..



Two tickets on EBay for $100 will ship free anywhere, not a bad deal – so I bid on them. The auction was to end on Friday evening (the day I was traveling home), so that would still give us time to do something different if needed.



The tickets on Craig’s List – Pepe contacted several people and started getting emails back. One of the places took you to an after market ticket seller, but it was on line also. There were so many people asking questions to the EBay bid, that I really thought that I would be outbid soon. We went ahead and ordered tickets through this online agency. Processed two tickets, the receipt came for one….. Pepe was going to straighten it out, but they needed to talk to the card holder. This was the last day at work – I was absolutely inundated with things to finish up. I told him – I don’t have time to fuck with this today!! – Then I felt horrible for being irritated. We got another ticket processes and sent to him. Everyone survived…



When I got home, looked at EBay – guess what???? I Won – so now we had two more tickets. Called a couple of people that were going to be in the area, and they went with us also. So it all worked out.
We met the guy at the concert that sold the EBay tickets – what a nut - he was,…he was like I’ll buy you a beer inside – so glad you could make it – man, its great seeing you (complete with hugs) what is this all about????? Sure enough we saw him inside at the bar, with his wife – they act like long lost friends – had to ditch that quick….

It was a late night – and we left just before the end of the show. But had class the next morning.



The next night – we stayed in the room, ordered dinner, drank a bottle of wine and were OUT…. It is tough getting old.



The following night we went to downtown Houston and bought tickets for Les Miserables……



Everyone else went out drinking at the sports bar in the hotel. I am sure there will be more stories about what happened there. I know I didnt miss anything there –
One story that we heard was:
One of the younger guys was hitting on the waitress, apparently she was really into him (must have been dark) and then one of the other guys that we work with – asked her if she could hook him up and if she had any gay friends because he was really into men – blew his evening…. Too funny….



The next day at class, most of them were hung over and hating life. Gatorade and Ibuprofen for everyone ! ! !

We then went to the Broadway Musical the last night there. It was incredibly. To see performances in real life is just a testament to the talent. We did the clean up / dress nice thing. That was fun. Of course Pepe was just as handsome as ever!!! Must be easy when you are that good looking to begin with. The hardest part of the evening was that it did not start until 8pm, the intermission was at 1030 pm – I was darn tired by then…. I think it got out near 1130 or midnight.

Next morning was another early one – off to the airport for a flight at 9am, which was delayed 1.5 hours. Could have slept in for a bit longer.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

The Trip Home


Just another note about the messed up flights that they have been booking us on.

To go home after my hitch, they put me on United. Well, no fault of United – I have frequent flier miles with them. But, I do not have any preferred status like with NW and their partners. Where I am Platinum and well deserving I might add.

So I go to check in at the airport. I am not familiar with their touch screens, which immediately irritates me. I put my card in, and bring up the information. Ohhhhh now they want $15 to check a bag…. Ohhh and if I want to upgrade, well that would be $325 and no guarantee a first class seat. Hell with that ! ! ! Here is my $15 and my bag to check. So the lady comes back by. She had been by about two times before “you doing ok?” Yeah Yeah…. I got it. So I give her my bag and say. “Corporate is booking flights differently, looks like I don’t have a platinum status and will be paying for my luggage and no first class upgrades”. She gives me a somewhat of a dirty look, but mainly perplexed look and takes my bag.

As I whine to Pepe about this, he says “what did you think they would do”. Well, if they had any customer service – I wouldn’t have been paying for my bag and would have been given a seat in first class ! ! ! And that is what I completely expected…
The first leg of the trip into Denver, there was no first class seating on the air craft, and I was in row 25. Then from Denver to Portland, there was but this time I was in row 31, oh and the young couple that were sitting in the same row with me. Had a baby on their lap…. I SLEPT ! ! ! !

The Shower


The living arrangements on the rig are like a dormitory of sorts. My room is a “private room” in that it only has one bed. There are about five rooms like that. Then there are rooms with bunk beds in them – someone sleeps in there during the day, while the other person is working. Then when the other person goes to work, that person that just got done goes to bed. So they can accommodate two people in that one room. There is usually a bathroom between these two rooms that is shared by both rooms.


Then are some rooms that have two bunk beds in them and they have four people staying in them. With two people sleeping in there at the same time. These people have to share a common bathroom that is used by everyone.
When I get back to work, I typically have to clean the bathroom. Because, I share it with the two people on the other side. Here lies the problem. The bathroom is to be cleaned twice a day by the catering staff. Not sure how those people live at home, but I certainly don’t choose to live by their cleanliness standards (or lack there of).

When I went into the bathroom, there was the typical greasy hand mark on the wall above the toilet – this would be where you lean when you are urinating into the toilet. There was also snot on the wall behind the toilet. Inside the shower there was also snot on the wall. Well, since the first day you are dog tired. I choose to wait until the next night to clean the shower. When I was done for the day, I got my shower shoes on, my can of Ajax, spray bottle of Clorox cleaner and turned the shower on. I scrubbed all the walls behind the toilet, pulled the bathmat up that was growing mold and scrubbed it good. I started on the walls inside the shower. There was snot all over each wall. I had sprayed the shower down about two hours before I went into clean (good thing). As I was scrubbing the snot was just continuous. It went all the way to the tile in the bottom of the shower. The floor was icky as well as the bathmat.

Got it done, but then I was telling Pepe about how this seemed to be an excessive amount of snot.
This is how it went:
Him: That wasn’t snot
Me: What do you mean; I saw it behind the toilet. Along with the green crusty buggers on the walls in the shower.
Him: That wasn’t ALL snot
Me: Yes it was….
Him: You know what those guys do in the shower?
Me: Well yeah, they bathe
Him: That’s not all. You have heard them in there
Me: yeah and some of them pray in the shower
Him: That's not what they are praying to...............
Me: Oh dear God ! ! !

I was completely grossed out by the entire experience to begin with, now I have this visual……. Thanks BABE!!!