The police department in the small Minnesota town of Proctor will put a motorized lounge chair up for auction next week after it was seized in a drunk driving incident. The black and blue pleather lounge chair, pictured in this undated police handout, comes complete with stereo, footrest, cupholders, headlights, a nitrous oxide power boost system, drag racing style steering wheel and a parachute.
This was the topic of conversation on the rig yesterday. Interesting enough, however not a conversation that I participated in.
We had a situation during drilling operations, that I needed more detailed information from the Mud Compliance Engineer. These people come on the rig as 'third party client contractors', they are only here while we are actively drilling using the product that they supply.
This person I had never met before and spent the better part of the day looking for him, to speak with him. After we had our discussion, him and I needed to meet with the Company Man to finalize reporting and findings. We are having some well control issues, being that we are drilling what they term a wildcat well. Going into new formation and and getting gas kicks are serious business.
Anyway, that isn't the point of this - the Compliance Engineer was sitting in my office waiting for the opportunity for us to talk with the Company Man. Several other people started congregating waiting on the same opportunity. To give you a visual of this guy. Probably stands about 6'2" in coveralls that are about a size 65 - however, they are loose. Looks like he has had recent lap-band surgery. Fat - not quite fat - certainly not tone! Curly short hair - way bad receding temples, starting to gray. NO NECK - looks to be about 40ish, probably in actually 30. Anyway, I am sure that I am not doing justice to the look. You could look at any college football stadium in the alumni section and find 100 of these characters.
As most of you know, I am not one to make new friends. The idea of having my office full of people that I DIDN'T INVITE doesn't make my day complete either.
So, this news story comes on the television. The mud guy starts talking about when he was in college he almost got a DUI for being on a riding lawn mower. He was telling about how he was going down to a frat house to use the lawn mower to write them a message in the grass. Ok, I can see this happening. I guess since he felt he had a captive audience he then went into his other stories of college life. Seems that he was required to take a bowling course, which he felt that he had mastered. He asked the instructor what it was going to take for him to get an 'A', because he was not going to participate. He relayed the conversation going like this:
Teacher - you need to complete the course and participate in the activities
Student - I am not bowling with you
Teacher - why not, you think you can beat me?
Student - yep, I was a professional bowler for 5 years
Teacher - really?, so you think you know all there is to know about bowling? I bet you don't know all there is to know about bowling balls...
Student - oh yes I do!!! I was a bowling ball physicist.........
At that point I had to turn around and reply with "You don't say........I bet you have an impressive resume. Welcome to the Oil Field".
