Phone Call

So today I got a phone call from a 'private' number. I did answer it - it was an old friend from when I worked in the Middle East.

She wanted some advise..... Apparently her and her significant other are having problems. 'The other' is a private person, and since I am also - she wanted my take on things. They are working on their friendship and in that time are not "together". 'The other' has returned to Iraq and she has to finish her medical stuff before going through the hiring process all over again.

What happened was, she had an email from this person professing her love and such. She sent it to some of her friends, saying how much she loved this person and how great they were. Well it upset 'the other', since she didnt know these people and felt that it violated her trust. I was like, well yeahhhhhhhh - that is something private between the two of you. So we discussed parameters and boundaries of what you can and cannot share. I told her I would be livid with Pepe if you sent out an email that I had wrote, and I was sure that he would be the same. I would never share a heart felt message that was sent to me. It is ok to tell "friends" that your relationship is going great and that you are crazy about this person, and they are crazy about you - without violating what is 'yours'. I also commented on "we share pictures" and those pictures are just for us. Not to be sent to everyone that I know or posted on the internet. It was a common understanding we shared and kept private.

We then discussed the friendship aspect of our lives. I told her that sex is separate as far as what we enjoy and do together. What we share in public and in the public eye does not reflect who we are behind closed doors. What makes our relationship strong, is that we are friends, and enjoy the same things, laugh at others and ourselves. We can have the best day out in public. We have the best time behind closed doors. We have an incredible sex life, but we also have that time together to laugh and share between ourselves together. I also told her, that maybe part of how we were able to develop this time was that our relationship is under wraps, especially at work. That there is no talk of what we do and where we are, publicly. It is kept on a private level, and we were able to develop our friendship, and understand how each other are on a personality level.

She also talked about how 'the other' has a 10yr old daughter. When they are on R&R that the daughter is there with them. But, she told her up front that the daughter would always come first. This person never has had children and she doesnt understand the commitment of having a child. It would be hard when ever you had actual time away from the work place to have to share them, but that is where the situation is. Like I told her, your child is a commitment that you make to give them everything until they reach adulthood. And in theory, you should have the other person for a lifetime, a child you only have until they are grown. Then you have to learn to share them with the world and the surrounds they create.

It was typical conversation for her. She is one of those people that wants to talk about everything. Some people just are not willing to share their intimate feelings with anyone other than their partner. I dont know if I helped with it - all I could talk about was how great Pepe is, and how understanding we both try to be with each situation.

I am so blessed to have the love of my life, and be able to work through difficulties and situations.

After seeing todays news - I am also glad that I am not flying or traveling on Friday the 13th.